Romantic talks never include 401k plans and taxes. After all, finances are probably the least fun topics for spouses. However, making sure that the lines of communication are always open and clear is critical to ensure a healthy relationship. Further in this article, we will discuss how to discuss finances with your spouse
Unfortunately, money talks may feel a bit awkward. After all, bedroom talks are so much better, right? But for a marriage to work and last longer, discussing finances openly is one of the best-kept secrets that everyone should know.
Here are some tips on how to discuss finances with your spouse so you can tackle things as a solid team:
Highlight the Good Things First
Financial discussions can get extremely emotional most of the time. You can begin by giving your spouse much-deserved praise if he or she has taken some positive steps recently. Emphasizing financial mistakes and pointing fingers will only result in heated arguments with no solutions reached at all.
Schedule a Regular Money Date
Try to schedule a specific day every month or week when you will discuss your savings, budget, future financial goals, and retirement. Make sure you also pick a relaxed and peaceful environment free from distractions such as your phones, TV shows, or crying kids. Make it fun as much as possible instead of something you dread and want to avoid every chance you get.
Share Your Financial Story
Everyone has a money story to tell. Make sure your partner knows your financial past, starting from your childhood. What kind of money conversations did you hear while growing up? Did your parents have good money habits? Was money a scarcity when you were a kid?
Knowing and listening to each other’s money story will give the two of you a clearer insight into your respective financial mindsets. Sharing your stories out loud can also give you clarity about your financial behaviors.
You might want to grab a pen and paper at this point to write down your financial story. Some people feel more comfortable with writing than discussing it in the open. If you opt for the writing route, give each other time to ask questions about the letter of the other after reading it.
Embrace the Possibility of Change
It doesn’t matter if you or your partner is the spender or the saver, never play the blame game at all costs. Any money already spent is already gone and crying over spilled milk will be useless. Be ready for a fresh start instead.
Instead of focusing on financial blunders made in the past, try to come up with a more positive game plan you can use soon. You might have had a bad money story in the past but it doesn’t have to stay that way. A simple change today can go a long way to fix things.
Don’t forget that money problems usually run much deeper than what can be seen on the surface. If you always find yourself having money fights with your spouse, remember that a few simple changes, combined with consistency and a solid “we” mentality will help not only your bank accounts but also your marriage to thrive and flourish.