Do you always feel shy being around your own family?
Does it seem weird when you are with your family and you meet someone your age?
Are you uncomfortable talking to a friend of the opposite sex while your parents are keeping an eye on you?
While it is always great to have your family around, there are times when they may also be the same people who may set you back or even pull you down in life.
Below are some of the most common ways that your family may not be helping you at all.
Addiction
Addiction is something that can result to numerous unhealthy relationships among the members of a family. There are many effects that addiction can have on a family’s emotional health and sometimes, this can even last from one generation to another.
Conditional Love
A dysfunctional family member may become too manipulative when it comes to their affection wherein they give love only if they want or need something from you. This habit of withholding love may make you want to please them all the time without even giving you a chance to just relax and enjoy being who you are.
Fear and Unpredictability
It is not easy to establish a trusting relationship if you are constantly living a life filled with fear and uncertainty.
If you are not sure how you parents will respond, you will always anticipate conflict and you will never be honest when expressing yourself. Instead, you will anticipate their criticisms all the time.
You may even want to stay away from things that could have been enjoyable and fun such as holidays and vacations.
Neglect or Abuse
Abuse is an indication of active harm such as physical or verbal abuse and violence. Neglect is a form of inactive harm that can either be emotional or physical. Examples of these are not feeding your kids or withholding attention, interest, or love.
Neglect and abuse can both be very problematic. Families may be caught in continuous cycles that may normalize dangerous treatment. People who are reared in such families may exhibit similar behaviors to their own children that may cause a new cycle of abuse or neglect.
Lack of Boundaries
The following are examples of lack of boundaries in a family:
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- An older child who takes on the parent’s role.
- An intimidating parent who aggressively discourage children to assert themselves or even to speak their mind.
- A controlling parent who takes charge of making life decisions for their kids and ignore their opinions.
No one in such families has their own personal space. No one respects the autonomy of each other. Living such a life may lead to codependent and unhealthy relationships later on in life.
Lack of Intimacy
There might be no signs of closeness within your family and no honest and genuine emotional support. The relationships in the family are more superficial instead of being emotionally available. This kind of relationship can make it difficult for you to be anywhere close with anyone because you have never practiced to do so in the past.
If you see or notice any of these signs, then, there is a chance that your family is indeed setting you back in life.